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Last Slam: 'Twas A Biggie

We were delightfully surprised by a massive turnout for last week's slam. There was a full roster of 16 poets, and we had to turn people away. The Slam Crew was beside itself—it's all we talked about the next day during brunch and bocce ball.
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August Slam Winners
1st –  Rae
2nd – Aryn Widule
3rd – Aaron Allsop
4th – Andrea Nelson

We'd like say "thanks" to the many well-groomed, attractive people who showed up to watch last week. You guys are hot. And a big thanks to sacrificial poet Matt Kulasiewicz. Also hot.

New Poster...

(Click for a bigger version.)

Once again, this month's poster was designed by Dathan Boardman.

Next Slam Seen On The Horizon Like Prancing Unicorn

The Running Water Poetry Slam
Thursday, August 25, 2005
@ Acoustic Café
Downtown Eau Claire
6:30 PM sign-up
7:00 PM slam
1:00 AM you dream in stanzas

It's been kind of muggy out lately, so dress accordingly for the next slam. The Slam Crew is going in swim trunks, because later in the night we're heading down to the pool for our water aerobics. Don't laugh—we've never been more toned and limber. The water... it is our life.

National Slam: Minneapolis Makes Semi-Finals!

Just a quick note, here. The National Poetry Slam in underway down in New Mexico, and yesterday, Team Minneapolis made it to semi-finals, ranking 19th over all! Congratulations, SlamMN!

You can check out the current ranks right here.

Robert Bly Still Alive

Hey! Robert Bly is actually not dead (just old), and he just released a new book called "My Sentence was a Thousand Years of Joy." Sounds strangely depressing! Listen to Bly talk about some junk in this interview.

A member of the Slam Crew says, "I had a counselor in college who, after I told him I wrote poetry, suggested I read a bunch of Robert Bly. That counselor was a dingleberry."

And there you have it: all you need to know about Robert Bly.

P.S. We totally ripped off the title of this post from this wonderful website, here.

TONIGHT: Minnesota's Wild-n-Wooly Super Slam

Hey guys, sorry for the short notice on this one. If you're in Minneapolis tonight, maybe you can check out SlamMN's "Anything Goes Slam." Sounds like a hoot and a half, yo!

Anything Goes Slam
Monday, August 8, 2005
@ Kieran's Irish Pub
330 2nd Avenue
South Minneapolis, MN
7:30 sign up, 8:00 slam
Free to compete, $5 to watch
All ages

The rules are different—but simple. It's one round. You get 5 minutes to do whatever you want in the name of poetry. We will have 5 judges to score you, drop the high and low, and the top performance at the end of the night wins. No elimination, no second chances (unless there's a tie). The slam team will be featuring somewhere in the middle and selling their CDs and chapbooks. It's their last chance to raise the remaining $450 or so they need to make it to the National Poetry Slam! Come support the team and take a risk on stage. More info here.

And here.

Between our marathon decoupage sessions, the Slam Crew has talked about trying something similar to the "anything goes" format. If you think it'd be cool, let us know.

Dirty Harry Potter

OK. So this guy took a bunch of choice passages from the latest Harry Potter book and stuck'em out of context—way out of context... into sexy land. Such as:

"There was no need to stick the wand in that hard," he said gruffly, clambering to his feet. "It hurt." (p. 64)

"Just as he raised a gloved hand to wipe them, Leanne made to grab hold of the package Katie was holding; Katie tugged it back and the package fell to the ground." (p. 248)

Oh, funny. Read more here. And there's always this.

Last Slam: Pretty Damn Good, Yo

Wow. Last night's slam started out pretty darn slow. It was almost as if the crowd didn't know what to do with themselves. The turning point was right before we announced the round two poets: a mystery man came up and asked if he could read a poem. We said, "Sure." He asked, "Do you think they can handle what I got?" We said, "Um, let's find out."

His name was "Hostile." He probably spelled it "Haw-style" or something kooky like that.

Hostile proceeded to floor the audience with a couple of spoken word/hip-hop numbers. Then he yelled, "I just came in here for a sandwich!" and left. There was some kick-ass poetry in the first round, but we needed something more to really get things rolling. (Enter Hostile.) The rest of the night was a series of stellar poems and performances.

Thanks, Hostile. We own you one.

Some of the ol' regulars took the stage last night, and some very promising new people showed up, as well. Everyone was in good form. One of the night's biggest revelations was that Steve the CATV  cameraman had a big, fancy college thesis to defend the next day (today). At first, he didn't seem too confident in his thesis. He didn't even think his thesis could beat a band of five ninjas. But the crowd rallied around him, and he seemed to gain the confidence he needed to defend his thesis with honor. We'll let you know how it went.

There was a tie for first, but we broke that sucker, and here's how things ended up:

July Slam Winners
1st –  Aryn "Hallelujah" Widul-yah
2nd – Ken "Attracting Ants" Szymanski
3rd – Justin "Caught in a Brainstorm" Kohl
4th – Andrea "F Word" Nelson

On a tragic note, regular slammer "Duke" made it to the second round, but went home before we read the qualifying round two poets. (He probably thought his scores were too low to make it.) So all of you people out there in internet land should clap imaginary hands for Duke. Let's hear it. 

You earned it, Duke. You earned it.

You Live in a Zoo!

Hey! Another slam crewman is having a birthday! Today! He's so excited that he wants everyone to come over to his house tonight—there's beer in the fridge. Just go ahead and eat whatever you can find. If you get tired, sleep in his bed. If you get cold, start a fire in the fireplace. There's two bathrooms if you need a shower. You're on your own for towels.

So, who's the birthday boy? See if you can guess.

Quality Time with Issa Preston

Just about one month ago today, Issa Preston won first place at the June slam. Then, having reached the apex of fame in Eau Claire, she packed up her things and left town for Minneapolis where she's now an art student. But before she left, she answered a few questions for us.

Yep. It's Get to Know a Slammer... Part 2.
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1. What do you like about reading at the slam?

I really enjoy the "there's no better place to be right now, so we might as well scream and yell and make fools of ourselves" attitude. And the audience is great, too. Plus the microphone, for me, is actually addicting. I've only read twice, but each time the craving just gets worse for the next time. I'm always disappointed when I'm done reading because then I have to go and sit down. But then someone else gets up, reads and completely amazes me.

2. What's the last poem you read?

It wasn't really a poem, it was in a movie yesterday. It was set in an office, and one of the employees was having a beef, yelling and screaming. The office boss (Kevin Spacey) came out (he was being interrogated by the cops) and he said in a very tense by controlled voice:

Will you get out of here?
Will you get out of here?
Will you?
I'm trying to run an office here.

Will you just leave?
Go to lunch.
Go to lunch.
Will you just go to lunch!?

It was very musical, and I've had it stuck my head for the past day or so.

3. Any good?

Well, I think so. Maybe you had to hear it to really get the full effect.

4. Where in Eau Claire are you a regular?

Anywhere that is free, cheap, or has coloring books and crayons. Mainly Acoustic, The Budget, Putnam Heights Playground, the GLBT Community Center, and Quay's house... and of course, the library. (Except on Sundays during the summer, and Saturdays until 4:30. What shitty hours.)

5. Who is your favorite TV Chef... and why?

I don't watch many TV chefs, the shows always make me hungry and then I try and make food and end up setting off all the fire alarms in the building. But if I could see anyone be a TV chef, it would definitely be Gabriel, from Xena. I would totally watch her fry up some grilled cheese and tomato soup. That would be a yummy show.

6. Using as many metaphors as possible, describe your poetry. (Similes are not allowed.)

No. I refuse.

7. Lindsay Lohan vs. a Hardee's Thick Burger. Who wins?

This is really no contest—a Hardee's Thick Burger. The Thickie would be victorious at almost any contest you can name. An eating contest: a Thick can definitely pack in the pounds and fat and calories. An arm wrestling contest: my boy isn't even going break a sweat. Even the 3 legged race: if the Thick were to team up with the Crispy Curls (medium size), Lindsay would be left in the dust. The only contest where I can think of him having a problem is the "being low in calories" contest. I think Lindsay would definitely have a chance there. But if I had to bet, it would be the Thick Burger every time.